You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
