Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
