my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
