Having a random hookup so left but love u
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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