I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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