But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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