I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
