Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
