he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
