You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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