I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
