Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
