butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
