He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
