They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
