Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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