Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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