I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
