You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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