I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
