i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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