Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
