AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
how does that bad decision feel?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
