did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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