This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
