Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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