I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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