just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
