So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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