i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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