The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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