Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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