If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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