I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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