love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
