I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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