i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
