Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
