i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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