Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
