turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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