question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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