Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Swine flu is the new snow day.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
