you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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