is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
