it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
