Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
