um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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