I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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