I hope mine doesn't look like that
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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