After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
